Teenagers Say The Darndest Things

I attended my co-worker’s cute 15-year-old daughter’s birthday party today.


And I must say, I had a good time. It kind of felt like I was going back in time…(only this party did not serve alcohol...but I won’t put puffing the magic dragon passed them. HA!) They were in their bikinis, playing games (on their phones though,) and calling each other whores. (That never gets old.)

My co-worker and I hung out in the kitchen, mostly. But we definitely eavesdropped on certain conversations. I damn near spit out my adult beverage a couple times. I’m certainly no prude…I guess I’m just not used to 15-year-olds.

Before attending the party today, my co-worker gave some backstory on her teenager and her friends. “My daughter is a free spirit. All of her friends are fun, and sort of the same way. They’re always at my house. They’re good kids, but they say the craziest things! Get ready!”

HA! She wasn’t kidding!

Overheard conversation by cute little girl with strict parents (who almost didn’t let her come to the party because Sunday is family day.) Girl is wearing a shirt with Super Mario Brothers on the front of it. She’s playing a Kim Kardashian game on her iPhone, and chiming into conversations when has something cute to say. The new Scarlett Johansson movie preview comes on the screen. I hear cute Super Mario girl say aloud, “I would totally have lesbian sex with her. She’s so hot.” The kids don’t say anything back. It doesn’t shock them. I laugh, but pretend not to. Okay. Maybe she is gay? Maybe she is trying to show off for the adults?

Teenage boy at the party walks up to another teenage boy and kicks him in the butt, twice. The boy on the receiving end says, “Dude, that’s my butt hole!” My co-worker says, “All I heard was butt hole…let’s keep those private.” Then another partygoer says, “I bet you like it in your butt hole.” (No, they weren’t talking to my co-worker! I mean, I don’t think.)

I laughed again.

It’s now time for the kids to eat, so my co-worker, being the hostess and cute mom that she is, gets on the grill and starts making the kids’ food.

Birthday girl says, “Mom, mom! Can I have a hot dog?” My co-worker says, “yes, honey. I just made you one.” Birthday girl says, “No, mom. I don’t want the bun!”

Co-worker says, “Honey, you’re getting the bun.” Birthday girl playfully pouts and says she won’t eat it.

My co-worker says, “If I find out you’re dieting because we are going to Vegas next weekend, I am going to be pissed! You’re getting the bun! You’re getting a pickle too!”

Anyway, this just cracks me up. I couldn’t imagine raising kids, let alone teenagers, this day in age! How stressful! But, she’s done a great job as a single mom. I enjoyed a good laugh. Maybe I’ll get an invite to Vegas. HAHA.